I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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