Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
