I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
