sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
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Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
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You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.