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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  What are we going to do tonight?

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  What we try to do every night. Take over the world

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (404): View more from Georgia

  Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  That's thinking positively..

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (434): View more from Virginia

  Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58

  (702): View more from Nevada

  EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.

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• (315): View more from New York

  I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after

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