You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
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I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
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He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!