I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care