xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here