i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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