even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
