OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
