I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize