I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
