i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Randomize
