i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm at about main and main street
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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