Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
