'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
