oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
