Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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