You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
