I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just gargled with NyQuil
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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