I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
