So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
