I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
