I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
