Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
