Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
