wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
