you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
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