My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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