hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
