I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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