you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize