She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
