just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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