You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
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