i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
