Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
