Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
