we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Last time i carry you out of a forest
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
