There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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