i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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