i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
