In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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