She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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