is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
