its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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