DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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