party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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