did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize