and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
