she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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