Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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