Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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