these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize