am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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