Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize