At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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