god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
they're like a gay fantastic four
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I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
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btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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