David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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