she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
