What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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