Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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