I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
