Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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