super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
