Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
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