Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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