Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
