After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
