you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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