It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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