yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
