Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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